Dairyman Don’s Defense | One-Hundred-Word Story

It’s not something the neighbors talk about, at least not in polite company. A local dairy farmer has a burping problem. Not him. His cows. And Thelma, a transplanted matriarch, plans to do something about it. She passionately addresses the town board: “Dairyman Don’s Holstein cows belch methane gas into the atmosphere. His operation threatens our very existence!” An alderman scratches his head, “Ma’am, you want us to criminalize cows burping?” Everyone laughs. Except Thelma. “Unmitigated bovine eructation accelerates global warming,” she scowls. Don starts his own counter-campaign, featuring cartoon cow-themed yard signs and bumper stickers: “Barp for Thelma.”